Which revision would most improve this excerpt from a narrative?
It had been Benny's lifelong dream to visit the Grand Canyon. Once he
was there, he took hundreds of pictures. He wanted to be sure to remember every detail. In the souvenir shop, he bought a Grand
Canyon calendar, a picture frame, and a T-shirt. On the other hand, Jeanine found the Grand Canyon boring and wished that she was in a city. All in all, the trip was unforgettable.
